Holistic Sex Therapy

Nu’s Approach: What It Is, How It’s Different, and What We Can Work On


Here’s What You Need to Know First: Holistic Sex Therapy Isn’t Just Talking About Sex.

Casey Tanner, a sex therapist I admire, says "while sex is not typically at the root of our distress, many of our anxieties dance on the stage of sexuality.” And it is indeed my experience that people come into sex therapy with a bit (or a lot) of stage fright. It's unfortunately a part of our western culture that this very human topic is met with disconnecting reactions, like overwhelm, disgust, embarrassment, shame, and silence. It’s no wonder you have been performing sexuality in ways that have been placed upon you and leave you feeling confused, exhausted, and alone.

Tousled bed with soft sunlight casting a shadow on the wall

Here’s What Holistic Sex Therapy Isn’t:

  • Me telling you you’re broken, weird, disgusting, or a predator 

  • Me judging your experiences or expressions or questions

  • Me having answers to all of your questions and erasing your shame for good

  • Physical touch, nudity, or sexual intimacy of any kind

  • Focusing only on what happens in the bedroom

Queer couple pressing their cheeks together and smiling

So, What Could It Be Helpful For?

  • Exploring sexual orientation(s), identities and/or expressions (LGBTQIA+)

  • Supporting the ways your body is (or is not) responding (difficulty with orgasming,  erection, and/or ejaculation)

  • Managing unwanted pelvic pain with intercourse due to dyspareunia, vaginismus, or vulvodynia

  • Navigating desire or libido differences 

  • Learning how to communicate your wants, needs, and desires

  • Processing sexual trauma

But Here's What It Can Also Be:

  • Broadening the exploration of pleasure to include how you like to move your body, what clothes feel good on your skin, and what scents you like, so that you can start to connect with your body in a low-stakes, low-pressure way

  • Normalizing your sexual experience so that you can release shame and guilt (and maybe even release the very notion of “normal”)

  • Figuring out how to be less in your head, more in your body, so that you can get to know the sexual being you’ve been dimming in the name of being “palatable” 

  • Exploring themes of receiving, belonging, affection, communication, vulnerability, and safety, and how they connect to the things you’re Googling late at night

  • Helping you see how ordinary and accessible things like pleasure and intimacy can be

A Bridge to Intimacy and Self-Discovery

So no, sex therapy is not just about sex (although it is about that sometimes!). It is a bridge to intimacy and ultimately, knowing and assembling yourself. 

As Brene Brown said, “If you put shame in a Petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in a Petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive.” 

My goal as a therapist is to create a safe space for clients to work through their wounds and limiting beliefs about their sexuality. I do this with tenderness and holding space for whatever it is you want to work on. If something feels too overwhelming to discuss, we yield to it; I will never push you to talk about things that feel too uncomfortable to share. We work at your pace. My experience has shown me that a safe environment is where the really satisfying work unfolds.

Think of me as your Petri dish- your emotionally supportive, affirming, non-judgemental, sex positive Petri dish.

Get Started Today

Your sexuality deserves understanding – let’s work through it together. Book a consultation now to get started. Schedule your free 20 minute consultation call.